Men who choose to use violence have hyper-masculine attitudes about their rights as men and the role and rights of women. They tend to see their partners and children as their possessions. That’s why we see so many women and children murdered as payback when women try to end a relationship.
Challenging hyper masculinity isn’t about men being less than men. It’s about reshaping expectations of what it is to be a man, about shedding concepts of masculinity that have such a negative impact on us as a society, particularly when ‘being a bloke’ involves derogatory attitudes towards women. Sometimes people can think they have to wait until they see a violent altercation before they can do something, but the reality is men particularly can play a major role in challenging the conditions that allow violence against women to flourish by challenging derogatory comments, sexist jokes, etcetera.
If we’re going to start preventing men from being violent in the first place, we need to challenge sexist attitudes and behaviours. Just as we know there is a link between racism and race-related violence, so there is a link between sexism and violence against women. Violence is the ultimate expression of sexism.